Halloween: Resurrection

  Here’s the thing, Halloween (2018) is a polarizing entry in the franchise (one that I like quite a bit) and Halloween Kills was a big disappointment. We’ll see if Halloween Ends can right the ship, but even if it doesn’t I’ll forever be grateful that Halloween: Resurrection wasn’t the last we saw of Jamie Lee Curtis (Scream Queens) as Laurie Strode, because this is an awful fucking ending for her.

Halloween: Resurrection was written by Larry Brand (The Girl on the Train) and Sean Hood (Conan the Barbarian) and was directed by Rick Rosenthal (Halloween II). It was released on July 12th, 2002 to overwhelmingly negative reviews and to this day is considered by many (myself included) to be the worst of the franchise. Halloween: Resurrection was made on a budget of $13 million, made $12,292,121 upon opening, and went on to make $37,664,855 worldwide.

Three years after the events of Halloween H20, Laurie Strode has been institutionalized after killing an innocent man she took to be Michael Myers (Brad Loree, X-Men). Michael quickly tracks her down, kills her, and retreats to his childhood home where he begins killing a group filming a reality web-show in the house.

This movie fucking blows. Treating Laurie as an opening kill might be forgivable if the sequence were interesting or memorable but it’s a bland, boring mess. Unfortunately, it’s all downhill from there. The “found footage” nature of the film is ugly and confusing and the cast of characters is a bland array of interchangeable faces (despite being by far the most diverse cast at this point in the franchise). A few characters stand out, but largely because they are played by recognizable faces, not because they have any discernible personality (looking at you Tyra Banks (America’s Next Top Model)). 

Halloween: Resurrection is largely a waste of time. It adds nothing substantial to the mythology of the franchise and brings Laurie Strode’s arc to an embarrassing end (for now at least). I hate to call any film a cash-grab (I think that’s lazy criticism), but this film reeks of being a cynical cash-grab.

Rating: 1 stupid kung-fu battle out of 5

Other Observations:

• Does the Dog Die? Lots of dead rats, but no dead dogs.

• Harrison’s Favorite Scare: No.

• Laurie kisses Michael before dying. Why? Who the fuck knows?

• The mask actually isn’t too bad in this one.

Next Week: Halloween month has come to an end (we’ll finish out the franchise next year with the Zombie films and the new trilogy) and we’re heading to Sweden to discuss Let the Right One In.