Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

  Here we are, the entry that should be the low point of the franchise but unfortunately isn’t. This film has it all; an overly convoluted backstory late into the series, minor characters returning with greater significance for no reason, completely fucking over a beloved character from a previous entry for no goddamn reason. 

Baby Paul Rudd.

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (which I will be referring to as Halloween 6 from here out so that I don’t have to type that ridiculous title any more) was written by Daniel Farrands (Never Sleep Again) and directed by Joe Chapelle (Fringe). It was made on a budget of $5 million, made $7,308,529 upon opening, and made $15,116,634 worldwide. Halloween 6 received overwhelmingly negative reviews upon release.

Halloween 6 picks up six years after the massacre of the Haddonfield police and the disappearance of Michael Myers (George P. Wilbur, A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child) and Jamie Lloyd (J.C. Brandy, Silk Stalkings). Jamie escapes from the cult that’s been holding her captive and gives birth to a baby boy. Michael’s pursuit of her catches the attention of Tommy Doyle (Paul Rudd, Ant-Man) and Kara Strode (Marianne Hagan, Friends) who lives in the old Myers house with her family.

I should note that there are two versions of this film. The theatrical cut and the producer’s cut. Both are bad, but the producer’s cut is slightly better and that’s the one I’m writing about today.

The fundamental flaw (okay, one of the fundamental flaws) of Halloween 6 is that it completely sidelines Jamie. In the theatrical cut she dies in Act One (which I made my feelings about that trope pretty clear last week), and even though she survives longer during the Producer’s Cut she still doesn’t actually matter as far as the plot is concerned. Despite being the concluding chapter of an arc all about her, she is reduced to a plot device. I can’t even comment on the recasting from Harris to Brandy. She’s given nothing to do but cry and be killed.

The worst aspect by far is the Curse of Thorn. It’s dumb. I don’t even know what else to say about it other than it is a really stupid way to explain why Michael kills. Giving his bloodlust an explanation at all only serves to make Michael a less frightening figure overall, but the Curse of Thorn is an especially silly explanation.

In the end, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is a complete mess. There’s some fun to be had in it’s silliness, but it’s an embarrassing outing for Michael.

Rating: 2 Celtic runes out of 5

Other Observations: 

• Does the Dog Die? No dogs feature in the film.

• Harrison’s Favorite Scare: The death of Mr. Strode’s (Bradford English, The Onion Field) death, but only in the theatrical cut where his whole head explodes. 

• Speaking of the Strodes, I really didn’t talk about them. Kara is fine but doesn’t leave a huge impression. The inclusion of the Strodes seems extremely arbitrary since their relationship to Laurie is not a factor in the film at all.

• All things considered, this is one of the better masks in the franchise.

Next Week: The franchise gets its first timeline reset (Season of the Witch notwithstanding) with Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later.