Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

 The Halloween franchise hasn’t gone off the rails quite yet with its fifth entry (we’ll talk about the moment that happens next week) but the writing is on the wall. 

Halloween 5: The Return of Michael Myers was written by Michael Jacobs (Certain Fury), Dominique Othenin-Girard (Beyond Desire), and Shem Bitterman (Out of the Rain) and was directed by Othenin-Girard. It was released on October 13th, 1989 to negative reviews. Halloween 5 was made on a budget of $5 million, made $5,093,428 upon opening, and went on to make $11,642,254 worldwide.

One year after the events of Halloween 4, Jamie (Danielle Harris, Urban Legend) has been admitted to the Haddonfield Children’s Clinic and is unable to speak due to the trauma she experienced. When Michael (Don Shanks, Silent Night, Deadly Night) awakens from a year long coma, he and Jamie form a psychic connection and he begins to hunt her down once again.

Halloween 5 is a decidedly middle of the road entry in the franchise. One of its biggest weaknesses is that it’s pretty bland. Sure, it’s technically better than Resurrection but there’s at least some fun to be had in how fucking bad that film is.

Halloween 5 is also guilty of that perennial horror movie mistake, killing off the previous entry’s protagonist in the opening act. As I discussed in last year’s Halloween 4 episode, Rachel (House of the Dead) was a great character and her overly-sexualized death at the 20-minute mark is horseshit. 

Thankfully, Harris is still stellar as Jamie. The psychic connection between Michael and Jamie is never fully explained, but Harris sells it (particularly impressive at her age). Even the infamous cookie-woman scene nearly works because of her. To be clear, I use the phrase “nearly works” because the scene is patently ridiculous.

In the end, Halloween 5 is nothing special but it's not nearly as disastrous as some other entries in the franchise. Danielle Harris elevates a subpar film far more than someone her age should ever be expected to do.

Rating: 2.5 cookie-women out of 5

Other Observations:

• Does the Dog Die? RIP Max the dog. You were a Very Good Boy.

• Harrison’s Favorite Scare: The laundry chute, no doubt. Super intense and Harris kills it!

• Tina (Wendy Kaplan, Guiding Light) is a great character and I will not accept any slander on her name.

Next Week: We conclude the “Curse of Thorn” trilogy with the film that actually introduces the ridiculous Curse of Thorn: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers.